She Doesn't See Her
by rcf1989
Summary: What would happen if there was fan fiction written about the heads of the Major Crimes Division and FID, and written by someone they both know, and they also found out about the story? And what would they do about it? Crack fic.


**A/N: so this is basically a crack fic, just so we are clear. Every member of Major Crimes, Fritz, Taylor and his holiness the Pope will be around here as well, as much as part of FID - eventually. Also there will be parts that are a fic within a fic, but when that happens I'll let you know. And this chapter was supposed to be half of what it turned out to be, and the writing for some reason improved more than I expected it as I kept writing as I don't intend this fic to be really serious at all (hello, crack fic), so good thing that it turned out to be this long I guess. The rating will go up at some point as well, and again when that happens I'll let you know.**

* * *

It was supposed to be an ordinary, plain and ever dull day. Or so both the Deputy Chief and Captain believed when each went to their respective divisions that morning. For the past weeks both had noticed something different in their respective squads, what neither was sure but there was a slight change in the behaviour of every single member under their command. But today it was as if a switch had gone off in their heads whenever they laid their eyes upon either of their superior officers.

Little did the Captain and Deputy Chief know the reason as to why such behaviour was taking place, yet they would know in due time. In a matter of hours, really.

The Captain was the first to uncover what was making her subordinates behave as if they were giggly schoolgirls trading the latest gossip about the girl they all hated, or secretly admired but that publicly loathed. She was used to the gossip about her in the bullpen, given her position in the LAPD it came in the contract as a non-written clause that anyone with a half functional brain would be aware of as soon as they stepped into Internal Affairs. But it had been years since she last stepped into a room and no one dared to look her in the eye and blushed furiously as if they had a crush on her. It was all too strange, yet what caught her attention the most was how her team somehow managed to gravitate towards Sergeant Eliot's desk whenever she locked herself in her office to work and they all believed her to be too busy to notice. After ten years they ought to know better and yet they didn't.

By the time of the lunch break, she stayed back busy with paperwork or so she made them all believe. Once the area was empty, and making sure no one was around, she made her way to the Sergeant's desk and his computer was still on, luckily for her; within minutes she found what she was looking for, a website that had been visited quite a lot that morning. Taking her phone, she quickly typed both the name and the url and saved it as a draft, leaving the desk as it once was before she did her little investigation and then finally left for her own lunch break.

For her part, the Deputy Chief was about to break the necks of few members of her team and hide the bodies so that nobody would ever find them. In the span of seven years she had endured almost everything with them, from hating her guts to end up considering them all like family and even friends.

The slaughter of half the members of her team did not happen as they were called in for a case, and for the Deputy Chief that also meant dealing with the Captain later on that day, and for their sake as much as for their friendship she hoped her friend was not in one of her queen of sarcasm and bitching days or she knew she would not be able to contain herself.

What she had not expected, however, was to face the Captain with her mind elsewhere at times even if she did not need to get her attention to return to the matter at hand, something was clearly bothering her almost as her team had been bothering her until they caught the case. And then a new unexpected twist was thrown at her: to be home by nine and be nursing a glass of wine by then because the Captain was going to call her about something important. Whatever it was had to be important if it needed wine and such a commanding voice to make her point come across. And for once in a long time the Deputy Chief did as she was told.

And by nine that evening Brenda was at home, already nursing a glass of red wine and a bowl of popcorn by her side on the couch, both her cell and landline phones on the coffee table waiting for the call of her friend. Just as she glanced at her watch, the phone was ringing and after the second ring she picked it up.

"What was so urgent to order me home with wine by nine?" Brenda asked, not giving time for her friend to say anything.

"Well, hello to you too. As for my... Order, which must be a first for you to follow, it has to do with why our divisions, and perhaps half of the building, have that odd behaviour around us."

"Oh for heaven's sake, your team too? Wait..." She took some popcorn with her hand and without further thought she had a mouthful. "Half the... Building... Too?"

"Do not speak with your mouth full, Brenda Leigh." Sometimes Sharon could not help the motherly tone with her friend, she was like a child.

"Don't be like my mama."

"Don't give me reasons to. But yes, probably half the building has read this monstrosity."

"Monstrosity? And read what?"

At the other side of the line she could hear the sound of the keyboard being almost punched, fast, and shortly after the sound of her friend probably drinking as well, sharing a different kind of poison for the night.

"What are you having?" The blonde asked, curious.

"White wine, same as usual. Now be a dear and take your laptop, I just sent you an email."

"Fine." Huffing, Brenda left the phone on the couch by the bowl of popcorn and marched to her bedroom to retrieve her laptop.

Once she finally returned and turned it on, she waited for it to come to life, typed in her password and quickly launched the email app. On top of the incoming mail was Sharon's, from her personal account rather than the one from work. That got the blonde's attention even further. Clicking it, she simply found what seemed to be the name of a website and its url, so she clicked on the link and as soon as the page loaded she couldn't get the phone fast enough.

"What the hell is this?"

"That is what has made our subordinates behave in such peculiar manner for weeks. And as I have taken the time to read throughoutly, I have found the reason as to why their behaviour changed even further today."

"Which is what? And why are you so calm?"

"Second glass of wine. And if you please, look for the latest update and read the last six paragraphs."

"Sharon...?" For a moment Brenda was almost afraid to look. "Will I like what I read?"

"Well, probably not. But at least is better than _Fifty Shades of Grey_."

"You read that?"

"Eliot had it around his desk once, he was out for his lunch break and I read a couple chapters. Complete disaster, as much as a waste of time and money."

"Oh my. Okay, I-I'll click now."

Hesitating, Brenda clicked on the link for 'chapter 18' and once it loaded, she scrolled down and counted for the last six paragraphs. She let out the breath she did not notice she was holding until she read the first sentence, and then the next, one after the other as if devouring the words, as if they were feeding her, and the more she read the more shocked she was. Once she read the final word of the final paragraph she was speechless.

"Brenda? Are you still there?"

The blonde didn't recover until she heard the alto voice on the phone.

"Yes, yes i'm here. Did I... Did I just read... About us havin' sex?"

"I'm afraid so."

"We can't... Can't have 'em doin' this! This... This is not us! We are not romantically involved!"

"Oh God no, thank you but no."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brenda asked now in a very accusatory tone, the same she used to drill her suspects.

Sharon sighed. "That means that no, and that there is no way that could work. Look at how long it took us to actually be friends, and you are married. That is a territory I do not step into."

Brenda then reached for her glass of wine and took a long sip. Although she knew Sharon did not approve of her affair with his holiness the Pope, as her boys had been calling him recently, or dropped hints about it at times, the brunette had never truly judged her for it and for that she was thankful. But anytime they spoke about something similar the blonde's mind always returned to the first time they discussed her affair, when they were still at odds. And that is why it finally made her share with someone something she had kept secret for the past few months.

"Fritzi and I are separated."

She heard Sharon coughing on the other side, as if she was choking with something, maybe her wine. "Pardon me?"

"For a few months we've been separated. And no one knows."

"And now I do. I won't tell anyone but you should've told me, what kind of friend would I be if I were not there supporting you?"

"The one that is left in the dark?" Brenda tried, bitting her lower lip even if the brunette could not see her.

"I suppose. Anyway, back to the reason I called you, we need to do something about this."

"Oh we will." And the blonde already had a plan in mind. "We will get together and find out who is writin' this... _Thing_ about us."

"And then whoever is behind this will have to deal, personally, with me."

Brenda was laughing at that then.

"I fail to see what is so hilarious to make you laugh like that."

"Oh nothin', I pity the pour soul who will have to face the ever stoic, composed and intimidatin' Captain Raydor once we uncover who it is."

"And here I was expecting you to join me."

"Can I?"

"Wouldn't have made the offer if you couldn't. And it seems there'll be a new chapter out on Friday evening, perhaps if neither of us have a case to work on we could get started?"

"Sharon?" She waited until she heard the other woman hum, her way to let her know she had listened and could go on. "Can we have dinner at your place, please? And could you make that thing you last cooked when we had dinner last month? I don't remember what it was called but it was really good."

That made the brunette chuckle. "Fine you can come over, and I suppose I should cook the same considering I do not know what you are actually talking about. If you were a bit more helpful about what, exactly, it is you want me to cook again..."

"That lamb thing with carrots."

"Okay, I can work _that lamb thing with carrots_ for you. And, please, do not alert anyone in your division that we are on a personal witch hunt."

"Discretion is my speciality, I thought you knew."

"Oh yes, to get in trouble of course it is. Goodnight, Brenda."

"You're terrible, and goodnight."

Just as she spoke the last word the line went dead. And she still had her bowl of popcorn and glass of wine to empty, and eighteen chapters on a faux story about her and her good friend, so she might as well take the time to read it and see what that _'Magic of Love'_ tale was all about that had their divisions acting as if they all had collectively caught their parents in a very compromising position.


End file.
